This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
THERE’S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT
i don’t know if i can actually pull it off but i really liked sniikt’s humanized mutt so i drew her with a few modifications hoping…. i can cosplay her okay… for next summer
better start doing some crunches
I can’t tell what my favorite part is, but it’s either
- scientists wasting budget and time to see if ants count their steps
- the idea to put ants on stilts
- there had to be a guy who made ant stilts and put them on the ants
- confused ants
sorry sir, we don’t have the facilities for a cat scan, but we can certainly get you a lab report
i just wanted to find out how oncest started but the onceler fandom wiki is about the most useless piece of shit on the internet
i see a lot of people go “OHHH CYCLONUS/TAILGATE IS FATHER/SON RELATIONSHIP”
and i just imagine tailgate being like “oh man i cant wait to frag cyclonus”
and the other robots are just like
"awww, so hes like a father to you, huh?"
and tailgate is just
staring at them
before he finally mutters
"no im gonna fuck him right in the pussy what the fuck"
Anamanaguchi, “Endless Fantasy”
This song is a fucking three-act narrative and I am in awe every time I listen to it. I could write a paper on it.
imagine your icon trying to be your parent for a week
very self indulgent art of these babies going to the onsen
//pretty much all of my headcanons feat. Tessa and Bee are about them being awesome step-siblings.
Bee helping Tessa sneak out to go racing with Shane
Tessa teaching Holoform!Bee how to bake cookies (because Sam never did)
Bee helping Tessa learn some Cybertronian stuff.
Tessa listening as Bee…